Blog : art therapy

Growth isn’t meant to be comfortable

7th April 2014

I am a growth seeker.

I am forever seeking and open to learning, growth, new perspectives, new tools and new understanding.
I have this drive within me to continue learning. I have a strong curiosity for how the world works. I have always had this determination, curiosity and questioning. This often leads me to being outside my comfort zone, and finding gifts that I never thought possible, and making connections with people I would not have predicted. I discover parts of myself in a deeper way. 

I also value safety. Feeling safe and secure in the world. Feeling like there are things that are “known”. People I can count on. Predictability.

The tough thing is, that sometimes these to values are in conflict. Growth Vs Safety. The more you step into growth and the unknown, the more you are in that unsafe territory. The challenge is to grow in ways that you feel safe enough to step into something new. And sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you just need to take the leap. 

I also found this great quote. And my aim is to continue learning to be comfortable in the uncomfortable in order to grow and evolve in the life.


I want to get more comfortable with being uncomfortable.
I want to get more comfortable being uncomfortable.


The weekend I did the “Tantra is Love” Relationships workshop, run by Emma Power and Sean O’Faolain. I loved the experience, and feel so open and heart felt afterwards. I connected and was seen and witnessed by a room of people that to start with were mostly strangers. I was curious about tantra, and not just about the sexuality aspects of tantra, but how it could enhance my life, my connection to myself and the way I experience energy levels in my body. 

I won’t say too much about the actual workshop- you can check it out yourself or even go to the free evening at the end of April, but what I will say is that I left feeling full of life, full of energy, gentle, open hearted, seen, loved, loving and full of trust and hope in my path. The step into the uncomfortable, into being more present in my body, through movement and breathing, was terrifying at points, but ultimately it was my choice to be there and I stayed with myself the whole time even when I wanted to take flight away from myself. 

One of the incredible things was how strong the facilitators were in giving permission to take ownership of your own boundaries, and respecting others boundaries. This made me feel safe because I knew I could listen to myself and do what was right for me without fear of judgement or that I wasn’t being gutsy enough. Being able to honour your boundaries was spoken about with respect. This safety allowed me to even more open up and feel safe to.  (This totally helped my values of growth and safety be in harmony!)

Another incredible thing about this workshop was the authenticity, genuineness and personality of the presenters, Emma and Sean, and their supporting team. I really feel like I know them as people, and this allowed for us all as a group to build a deep connection.

I feel so grateful to myself for taking a step into something that was a little uncomfortable, and I am now, in this love bubble place, reminded of the gifts and opening that can come from this courage.


Motivation – What to do when you don’t have any.

3124666What creates motivation and what diminishes it?
What do you do when you feel unmotivated?
This is an opportunity for learning.
I either constantly berate myself to get going (which usually makes me feel worse) Or see this as an opportunity to acknowledge my needs and address them, so that I can feel cared for and then the motivation will come!

Today is a really hot day. I’m feeling tired and unmotivated. I don’t want to do anything. I keep trying to do things and feel so much resistance to it. And it is kind of frustrating, like there is a child inside of me that is acting out, and an adult who is on its back to get things done. And even though I have completed quite a lot of tasks today, it just seems like not enough. Is it because there are no set goals, and the unstructured nature of this means that there is no end point?

Maybe it is because what I really need is to rest. But how much rest is enough? And will resting just fester more resistance, more resting, more lack of motivation? Where is the point where you allow what feels right vs pushing through the resistance? When is it right to push for growth rather than go easy on yourself?

I have found in the past by having a compassionate attitude towards myself allows the resistance to be there, and therefore I am not resisting the resistance… and it passes.

Compassion & Self Care
Having compassion for myself, doing loving and self caring things for myself, which means not necessarily doing “nothing” but taking actions for things that are self caring.
What do you do for self care? A good way to explore this is through the five senses.
1. Sight – What are pleasant things to look at or see? A movie? A book? Nature? Art?
2. Smell – What are you favourite scents? Perfume? Nature? Incense? Food cooking?
3. Taste – Some yummy wholesome food or treats?
4. Touch – Getting a massage? Body lotion, having a shower, a comfy couch or cushion? washing your hair?
5. Sound- your favourite music, listening to an e-book? Being out in nature?

Writing yourself a compassion letter
1. I understand that… (describing the situation you are in)
2. I know that you feel… (acknowledging the feelings you are experiencing right now and that they are valid)
3. I just want you to know that… (offering your own inner guidance and wisdom)

Acknowledging actions and values
Listing the actions you have taken recently in your life, no matter how small.
With each action you have taken, what value is this representing or showing?

For example: I took a shower and washed my hair: I value myself, i value self care, and being fresh.
I made breakfast: I value feeding and fuelling my body to give it energy to be alive.

What now?
Do you feel any different? Are you still berating yourself and saying things like “this is not important, I should be doing all these other things etc. etc.” Maybe you are… and this is worth listening to as well. Write a compassion letter to this voice. See what comes of it. Maybe that part of you might have a few things to say back also! That’s okay, have a conversation with it and be curious to see what comes out of it.

If you do feel differently, what has changed?

The great things for me about lack of motivation is that often I get other things done that I didn’t plan to because I am procrastinating a task that is daunting or scary. That’s okay, everything is okay, you don’t always need to be productive, because everything has a natural flow and if there is no rest time, there is no pleasure in production time….