Value Conflict, when two values clash

Value Conflict, when two values clash

2153729When there is conflict, there is a natural response that emerges generally, and according to our patterns and habits and what we are used to, we will generally go into a flight or fight response. If you remain in your centre and remind yourself that you are okay, and you do not need to fight or run, then you can face into the conflict and still remain grounded.

Although that is not always the way things turn out. When conflict comes up, I am learning about the importance of digging a little deeper and identifying what you value. What is important to you in relation to this conflict? It can often be a conflict in your values, internally, or the values of you and another person. Once you know what the values are that are clashing, at least you can find a way to be with the discomfort of the conflict, have an understanding of it and then maybe even find some acceptance for this difference in values. For me, I realised there was a deep conflict in two very strong values.


These two values are strong in me, and like the last post about balance, there is often a fight between the two, and often achievement wins. I value achievement because this for me means contributing my gifts to the world, expressing myself in the world and following my heart, dreams and purpose. This takes hard work, and is enjoyable also.

The other value is self care. I have in the past experienced burn out, due to lack of self care, of putting other people and other things first and this has meant that I do not enjoy the things in my life that usually I love. I find myself exhausted and unmotivated for the things I value. So when I am focussed too much on achievement and not enough on self care, I am not productive and I don’t enjoy anything. I noticed yesterday, when i took the day off to walk in the sunshine and wander and make art and play guitar and take a hot bath, I felt very inspired, full of ideas and inspiration and energy to put into my work and my life and my workshops and my study.

So this was another message, a reminder that self care is not selfish, that it means I have so much energy to give and so that I can experience the world and people around me fully.

What do you do for self care?
When was the last time you took the time to fully experience those things that really care for and honour you?
What can you do this week for your own self care, to nurture your creative and inspired self?

Share your thoughts below.

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